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Well,
it appears that Wiltshire Pig has
fully recovered from his last adventure,
and along with Vince, his haggard but
loyal employee, tries to perfect yet
another quick, get-rich scheme. This
scenario finds them in Wiltshire’s
Quonset workshop, running field tests on a
new shark proof diving suit. Wearing the
allegedly shark proof mesh, Vince is
dangled over a tank, where he express that
since Wiltshire designed it, perhaps he
should be the one wearing it -- just as
the giant shark roars out of the tank and
swallows him whole. Wiltshire notes that
the test results are
"inconclusive."
Positive
that he is brilliant but cursed to fail,
Wiltshire goes back to the drawing board.
Tuning the radio to the Dr. Spike show,
since Easter is only a week away the
celebrity analyst (--
kind of the bunny version of Frasier Crane
--)
is interviewing the Easter Bunny. And
after Spike starts taking questions from
callers Wiltshire’s ears perk up when
one asks why E.B. turned down a five
million-dollar endorsement deal for tennis
shoes. Answering he always turns down
endorsement, the Easter Bunny claims his
position is an ancient and sacred trust,
and he won’t violate them for money.
Intrigued, Wiltshire calls in and asks
what if, heaven forbid, something
"tragic" happened to E.B: Who
would replace him?
Told
that, according to ancient customs, a new
Easter Bunny would be chosen by a contest
of champions, armed with that information,
Wiltshire hatches another mad scheme.
Disguising himself as a vacuum salesman,
he knocks on E.B.’s door, blusters his
way inside, and then cranks up the SUX
vacuum cleaner, sucking up everything
inside the house -- including E.B. Phase
one of his plan complete, Wiltshire hauls
his captive, still trapped in the vacuum
cleaner, back to his lair. As he chains
the vacuum to a post (--
E.B.’s eyes and ears are exposed out the
top), the news breaks over the
radio that the Easter Bunny is missing and
the police suspect foul play. And, if he
isn’t found by Friday, a great Easter
Race will be held to determine a
replacement. Wiltshire, of course, plans
to be that replacement, but when E.B. says
that a pig can’t be the Easter Bunny his
captor warns that one more contrary word
and he’ll use the vacuum to sweep under
the fridge.
To
be the Easter Bunny, Wiltshire must think,
act, and in a sense, become a bunny. So he
turns to Dr. Spike for help. Wearing a
bunny suit he claims to be a pig trapped
in a rabbit’s body, and wants "to
come out of the carrot patch" -- by
Friday at the latest. Spike is suspicious,
says being a rabbit isn’t as easy as it
sounds, and isn’t sure if he can divulge
any privileged information. But, he
finally agrees when Wiltshire says it was
his mother’s dying wish that he become a
rabbit.
But
being a rabbit is quite a commitment of
nuance, subtlety and fluffy tail waving.
To start, Spike gives Wiltshire a stack of
textbooks to read and they’ll start
training in the morning. The
first lesson is burrowing into a garden
and stealing vegetables, and so Wiltshire
digs a tunnel and starts pilfering carrots
-- until he’s discovered by a vicious
bulldog and torn to pieces. (I
have the feeling that Spike is on to
Wiltshire and is running him through the
wringer on purpose.) The
last test is an existential/Zen like
exercise: the art of freeway crossing.
Taking Wiltshire to a lonely stretch of
road, Spike gives his student a nice Yoda
speech about stretching your senses,
becoming one with the pavement, and to
just flow across the pavement. Obviously,
Wiltshire wasn’t listening because every
time he sets foot on the road, he’s
flattened by a truck that roars out of
nowhere.
After
three disastrous attempts to cross, Spike
takes what’s left of the battered
Wiltshire home to his workshop, where
Spike spots a familiar set of eyes and
ears protruding from the vacuum cleaner. But
Wiltshire notices, too, and springs a
trapdoor, sending both Spike and E.B. into
a pit. Above, Wiltshire gloats that by
this time tomorrow, he will be the Easter
PIG! (Cue
maniacal laughter and snorting fit.)
The
Great Race is to be held at a large
coliseum and it’s already filled to
capacity. When Wiltshire approaches the
official’s table and tries to register,
he claims to be a rabbit but they easily
see through his disguise. But, after
finding out that there is no written rule
that only rabbits are allowed to compete,
our boy threatens to sic the ACLU on them
unless he's allowed to enter. Fear of
another lawsuit quickly gets him in the
Great Race. Meanwhile, back
at the workshop, Spike and E.B. are
suspended over the shark tank until the
big fish jumps out and swallows them.
Inside the shark's belly, they find Vince,
alive and well, playing a game of
solitaire.
Meantime,
phase one of the Great Race is about to
start, so Wiltshire and the other
contestants step up to the starting line.
The starter’s pistol is fired and
Wiltshire takes off running but soon
realizes no else has. He looks back and
sees the other bunnies are perched on top
of some nests, trying to hatch an Easter
Egg. Wiltshire sits on his, too, but
quickly loses his patience with the recalcitrant
egg. He
knocks on the shell and orders the chick
to come out. But the surly occupant
refuses, saying he’s not done incubating
yet. Not to be denied, Wiltshire places a
bomb beside the egg and the resulting
explosion cracks the egg open -- and takes
out a couple of rivals as well. Waving the
white flag, the chick surrenders and the
crowd boos Wiltshire's victory.
Back
inside the shark, Vince suggests they
build a fire, like they did in Pinocchio,
but Spike says there’s too much stomach
acid built up. But this gives Spike an
idea: he breaks out in song, singing "Please
Release Me" with a mournful,
soul-wrenching kick. It quickly works on
E.B., who starts sobbing and hiccuping.
The shark, however, will take a little
longer to sway.
Phase
two of the Great Race is the Easter Egg
delivering contest. Here, an obstacle
course with several cardboard cutouts of
children are strategically placed on the
field, where the contestants will be
scored on time and style points. And as
the other rabbits take up their egg
baskets and start up their mopeds, Wiltshire
cranks up his VW Rabbit convertible (--
to the tune of "Low
Rider")
and activates the onboard computer. The
convertible then transforms into a giant
robotic mecha-bunny and stomps into
action, crushing the other bunnies that
get in his path. Approaching the first
target, Wiltshire presses the fire button,
which causes the hood to pop open, and two
mechanical arms seize a couple of chickens
and throttle them, causing them to drop a
payload of eggs that splatter all over the
target. Unable to take the stress, the
robot-bunny quickly overloads and breaks
down. However, Wiltshire has won again
because he's the only contestant left
standing. But! He still must pass one more
test to be crowned the new Easter Bunny.
The test? Freeway crossing.
Back
at the workshop, Spike kicks it up a notch
and the shark starts to break down and
blubber up. At the coliseum, a long
stretch of pavement magically appears.
The crowd goes deathly quiet as Wiltshire
approaches the strip, and cautiously takes
a step out onto the asphalt ... and he's
as surprised as everyone else when nothing
happens. Taking a few more steps out,
where still, nothing happens, Wiltshire is
ecstatic and breaks into an impromptu
victory dance (--
completed with a Michael Jackson crotch
grab.)
His mission accomplished, the crowd boos
mercilessly as the victor approaches the
empty throne, where his coronation as the
new Easter Bunny will take place. But!
Finally succumbing to the power of old
Johnny Mathis tunes, the shark belches out
the offending parties, whose escape
trajectory sends them right toward the
coliseum. The crowd spots them before
Wiltshire is crowned, who scrambles out of
the way as the true Easter Bunny lands on
the throne; his rightful place. Wiltshire,
denying any wrongdoing, backs on to the
faux freeway, where he is promptly
flattened by a truck. The real Easter
Bunny is back and Spike leads the crowd in
a rousing rendition of the "Hallelujah
Chorus" as everyone wishes us a
Happy Easter.
The
End
A
Claymation Easter
is a wonderful follow up to Will Vinton's
Emmy award winning Halloween special: The
Claymation Comedy of Horrors. A
visual delight that will keep the kids
entertained, it also has enough laughs to
keep the adults entertained, too.
Seriously, keep your eyes glued to the
corners of the screen to see what all the
creators jammed into the frame.
While
attending the University of California to
study architecture and physics, Vinton
became fascinated with the work of Spanish
sculptor Antonio Gaudi and soon became
obsessed with clay. He then started
experimenting with stop-motion animation,
and eventually formed his own studio. His
first production -- a short called Closed
on Mondays,
was the story of a drunken bum, who breaks
into a museum and witnesses the exhibits
come alive. And the ending would have made
Rod Serling proud. The film earned Vinton
an Academy Award for best-animated short.
After, Vinton continued to make animated
short features and contributed some
special-effects for Walter Murch's
Return to Oz.
His most ambitious project to date, The
Adventures of Mark Twain,
was also a critical success. I saw this
once on PBS and would really like to see
it again. I recall a segment on Adam and
Eve, where Adam kept riding a log over a
waterfall that kept cracking me up.
It
was also about this time that his studio
was contacted by an ad agency to do some
commercials for a certain dried fruit. He
made the dried fruit sing some old Motown
tunes and the rest is history. The
California Raisins quickly took on a life
of their own and eventually led to a
Christmas Special. I guess I should be
thankful for this because the
Halloween and Easter specials are
probably a direct result of it. For a
couple of years, Vinton was making
features again, and I’m still waiting
for Wiltshire Pig to attack St.
Patrick’s Day, or find love -- and make
some bacon, on Valentine’s Day.
Alas,
these never came to pass, which is too
bad. I honestly think Vinton was [this]
close to achieving the same kind of cult
status as Ray Harryhausen. Instead, all we
will remember him for are the California
Raisins and the Pizza Noid.
And
that's just sad.
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