Chance
(1989)
Director: Addison Randall, Charles
Kanganis
Cast:
Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, Dan Haggerty
PM Entertainment didn't always make good movies like Last
Man
Standing, The Sweeper, Executive Target, and
Rage.
In fact, all their movies made before 1993 (including the titles
released
under their original name, City Lights) seem to be uniformly awful.
There
are eight million awful PM/City Lights movies out there - this is one
of
them.
If Chance does anything positive, it's
only to provide
an answer to the question, "What ever happened to the guy who played
Freddie
"Boom Boom" Washington on Welcome Back, Kotter?" The answer is
that
around this period, Hilton-Jacobs starred in several PM/City Lights
movies,
even directing some of them. He didn't direct this one, but he might as
well have, because it's just as bad as the ones he did direct. Chance
is
one of the cheapest, flimsiest, and dullest action movie that I've ever
seen. It's a movie that was supply-driven, not market-driven. Video
stores
were still hungry for product to fill their video shelves, so would buy
almost anything they were offered. It's a product, not a movie. No
wonder
nobody from Hilton-Jacobs to the two directors seems to have given a
damn
about the end results of this movie.
This "what the hell, let's crank 'er out" attitude is
evident from the
first shot of this movie. The look of this movie just screams, "Cheese!"
I can't properly describe the bizarre look of the movie - it's as if a
video camera mated with a film camera, and their bastard offspring
filmed
this movie. Though there's a credit reading "film editor", the visual
look
of Chance looks almost like it was shot with videotape.
As
a result, everything about the movie - action, acting - looks really
cheesy.
Take the beginning scene when Chance (Hilton-Jacobs) steps into a
vacant
lot to arrest Ash and Worm, two low-life punks in the middle of an arms
deal. Of course, there's a shoot-out, and when one of the punks tries
to
drive away, Chance shoots his car, and there's a fireworks explosion
from
the car. If the technical skills of porno filmmakers were a notch above
their usual standard, they could have passed for directors of Chance.
Chance could be nicknamed "Mild Harry". When in the
subsequent scene
he is suspended and must turn in his gun and his badge, all he does is
softly mutter, "Have a nice day." Mostly in this movie, he stands
around
silently, whenever he isn't in the middle of a mild fluster or staring
dumbly into the camera, like he's a frightened animal looking into the
headlights of an approaching car. Neither is his best friend Zack
(Haggerty)
any interest, especially in his first scene. Zack, a closet alcoholic,
is seen opening a toilet tank, to take out a bottle of Jack Daniels. He
unscrews the cap. He has a few swigs. He puts the cap back on the
bottle.
He puts the bottle back in the tank. He puts the lid back on the
toilet.
Then we see him get out some mouthwash. Then some toothpaste. And a
brush.
We see him put toothpaste on the brush. Then he starts brushing his
teeth,
which is the first of many close-ups of people's mouths in this movie.
He rinses. Then puts the items back. Obviously the directors were
striving
for intense realism in this movie, but they forgot that in many cases,
real life is frequently boring. Even in the earlier diamond heist,
which
could have provided some excitement, the directors find the security
guard
in another part of the movie interesting, with frequent cuts to him
showing
suspenseful (and uncut) scenes of him unfolding and reading a
newspaper,
opening his thermos to pour himself coffee and drink it, getting a
cigarette,
lighting it up, smoking it, etc. Though in its defense, the directors
also
show us every step of the diamond robbery itself, from the masked
robbers
opening the locked fence, walking to the fire escape, climbing several
stories to the top, walking across the roof, then...I think you get the
idea.
Eventually, the stolen diamonds get into the unknowing
hands of Zack,
who works as a repo man, and repos the car that the diamonds are hidden
in. Terry, the typically long blond haired mastermind (who acts half
gay
and half bored) behind the robbery naturally hires his goons to
retrieve
the diamonds by any means necessary. Along the way, we get the typical
shoot-outs, though sometimes we don't see the bullets hitting around
the
heroes taking cover, which makes me conclude the villains are
exceptionally
bad shots. That could explain why we see the shooters in one insert
shooting
at the same angle as they did earlier - as if the footage was repeated.
Same with a few close-ups of hands reloading shells in a shotgun. There
are the typical chases, though I don't know why the heroes don't simply
smash their car next to a pursuing motorcyclist at one point. When the
heroes are falsely accused of crimes, they are put in a holding cell,
which
leads to the unexpected cry from another prisoner, "We've got a cop in
our cell!", and that leads to a fight scene where fists manage to land
blows from mere inches away. Such things like this happen throughout
the
movie until the climax, which, of course, takes place in a dark,
deserted
warehouse. Here, we are treated to the dullest and most badly directed
warehouse shoot-out of all time. The bad guys are dead, yay! exclaim
the
heroes just before the triumphant freeze-frame and subsequent credits,
despite a few plot threads still hanging....like Zack's alcoholism, the
fact that they are still out on bail, that they now don't have proof of
their innocence now that the bad guys are all dead, etc. etc. etc.
Though as the credits were being displayed on the
screen, I was trying
to reason more with the fact that Hilton-Jacobs here is credited with
"additional
dialogue". But really, as I said earlier, the only possible thing
this movie does is answer what happened to Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs.
(He's
since moved on to playing minor roles in made-for-TV movies.) Now you
know,
and now you can get on with your life. Which, hopefully, will mean
you'll
be using the time to watch better movies than this.
Check for availability on Amazon (DVD)
See also: Dance Or Die, Video Violence, Spoiler
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