Evil Aliens
(2005)
Director: Jake
West
Cast: Emily Booth, Jamie Honeybourne, Sam Butler
There are certain moments in your life that you will
remember greatly, like they happened just a few minutes ago. I've
described some of mine in past reviews, and those moments were the
expected stuff, like driving a car for the first time. But as a movie
buff, I have a lot of key moments in my past that have to do with
movies. Movies that basically blew me away when I saw them for the
first time. When I was young, Disney movies like Snow White And
The Seven Dwarves and Pinocchio made a big
impression on me. As the years progressed, certain movies that were
more adult in nature made an equal impact. I'll describe one such
episode in my life. I have a long-time friend who is kind of my student
when it comes to movies. I have introduced him to many memorable movies
he probably wouldn't have seen otherwise, such as Tromeo And
Juliet, Death Wish 3, and Rabid Dogs. Well, one day we were at
the video store, up to watching another movie together, and it was one
time I was stumped - I had shown him so much already that I was fresh
out of ideas. Then I saw Dead Alive on the shelf, and it
struck a bell. I remember I had read a review of it that began with it
saying it was so gory that it was great, and I had stopped reading
right there so I wouldn't read any spoilers. Anyway, I decided to pick
the movie, telling my friend, "I've heard this is good", and we took it
to his house to watch. Well, if you have seen this movie, you can
imagine the impact it made not only on him, but on me as well. Despite
my film education being bigger than my friend, I had never seen
anything like it before. We both became Peter Jackson fans, and we have
seen all his other films.
Now please let me go off that topic for a moment and get
onto a completely different topic. (Don't worry, it will all make sense
when you get to the third paragraph of this review.) I have long been
fascinated by the idea that there is extra-terrestrial life. I'm not
really talking about small stuff like fungus and bacteria (though I am
100% convinced that small life forms like that do exist on some of the
planets we have spotted in other solar systems.) When I hear the term
"extra-terrestrial life", the first thing that pops into my head is the
idea of intelligent extra-terrestrial life. I suppose that
could include creatures that we would consider "animals" back on earth
- some animals on our world occasionally show the flicker of real
thinking - but what I really imagine are creatures that have the
intelligence level of humans, or even greater. On these occasions when
the thought of extra-terrestrial life gets into my head, I often go
into deep thought as to just what would an intelligent alien be like. I
wonder what they would look like. Would they have ears on the side of
their head, and two eyes above a nose and a mouth? Logical thought on
my part says that chances are that would not be the case. Evolution on
another planet making a creature so close to humans in many aspects
seems very unlikely. But I also wonder what they would be thinking of
Earth and the humans on it. Do aliens think that we are so lowly
compared to them that this explains why they have not officially made
contact with us? Would an alien race that discovers us see us as
unpeaceful, with all our wars and crimes, and think we should be wiped
out?
Some of you probably have an idea by now as to the kind
of movie that I am writing about in this review. If not, I will tell
you now. Evil Aliens (the title should have given some
of you slow folks a clue) is a movie about aliens landing on earth,
aliens who aren't exactly thinking peaceful thoughts when it comes
to humans. But this is not your usual standard serious-minded movie
about alien invasion. Evil Aliens is a movie that has
clearly been inspired by the early films of Peter Jackson, definitely Dead
Alive, but also movies like Bad Taste and Meet
The Feebles. It should have been a movie that I would have
picked up right away at the video store, but it wasn't. When I first
saw it and did research on it, I came up with reviews from a number of
folks who said it was a bad rip-off of Peter Jackson. So I left it
alone. But as time went on, I started to uncover an equal number of
reports from other people who said that this was a good homage
of sorts. The fact that there was so much disagreement about the movie
intrigued me, enough so that I decided that I had to judge it for
myself. Here's the plot description that was on the back of the Evil
Aliens DVD box: "Brace yourself for this jaw-dropping slice of
sci-fi horror lunacy! Gruesome mutilations, inappropriate body probes,
and pointy weapons ranging from sports gear to chainsaws fill this
gore-drenched classic of giddy alien mayhem. Looking for a new story, Weird
Worlde TV reporter Michelle Fox leads her crew to a small Welsh
farming town where residents are reporting alien abductions and
impregnations. Unfortunately, the TV crews dramatic recreation of the
events turns downright nasty when the real interstellar visitors
arrive, and they're hungry for more than a close-up!"
After watching Evil Aliens, I think I can
safely confirm what others have said about it, namely the fact that it
owes a great deal to the (early) work of director Peter Jackson. So
much so, that if there had been no Peter Jackson, I don't think that Evil
Aliens would exist, at least anywhere near the form that it is
in right now. Like Jackson's early movies, it is an (extreme) black
comedy, making numerous attempts to mine humor out of material that
many would consider disgusting. Namely, with a Dead Alive-like
enthusiasm for blood and gore. Although Dead Alive
still beats Evil Aliens with the amount of blood and
gore, Evil Aliens at times sure tries hard to pile on
the goopy stuff. But the movie is influenced by Jackson in other ways
as well, not just with the blood and playing it for laughs. There are
also a number of camera techniques, such as with some cockeyed camera
angles or the camera quickly zooming close-up to the action, that
suggest Jackson as well. Call it an homage, or even a rip-off, but if
you watch it you can't deny the movie is trying very hard to stand up
to Jackson. But despite all of this effort, I didn't think that the
movie worked. I'll start with the performances. I feel that I should
mention up front that this is a British movie, so it should come to no
surprise that there are accents. Having parents that are British, I
could make out the dialogue... most of the time. There were some
garbled words even I couldn't make out (or made me need a few seconds
to figure them out in my mind), and I could only imagine the greater
difficulty someone not used to hearing British accents would have with
the spoken dialogue of the movie.
It's kind of unfair of me to criticize actors for
speaking in the way they and their fellow countrymen were raised, so I
don't blame them for that. I have something else to criticize about
their performances, but like their accents, I can't blame them for this
other thing. There are signs throughout the movie that show that the
cast is a bunch of likable people who are not without talent, so I can
imagine their internal pain when seeing them act in the way they were
no doubt told to act by the director. Everyone in the cast acts "funny"
- an exaggerated style that makes them look like a bunch of
nincompoops. This sinks the movie almost completely by itself.
Evidently, director West did not see that in Jackson movies like Dead
Alive, the actors play it (mostly) straight. "Normal" reactions
to the absurd come across as ridiculous, and can be funny. But acting
"funny" in a movie like this makes the actors seems stupid, and it's
hard to get involved with the plight of people who are idiots. Director
West (who also wrote and produced the movie) doesn't just drop the ball
when it comes with dealing with the actors. While Peter Jackson made
good-looking movies on a low budget, the look of this low budget movie
is lacking. It has a strange visual look, like the ones you see on some
modern British television shows. (Was this shot digitally?) Also, when
the movie is out of rooms and outdoors that are brightly lit (which is
most of the time), everything looks very murky, and it's hard at times
to make out what we're seeing.
This includes just about all the scenes with the aliens
and the mayhem they cause directly or indirectly. I said there's a lot
of blood and gore in the movie, but the darkness and other factors
(like editing quickly to another shot) make it hard to appreciate all
the work the special effects people did. The aliens themselves come
across just as murkily as the gore. Except for the final shot of the
movie, we never get a clear look at the aliens because of that editing
and lighting. In the few scenes where the lighting and editing are
(somewhat) better, the aliens then are wearing masks and curious
get-ups that make them look like all of them are wearing black
short-sleeved T-shirts. Their motivations are just as curious; we never
get a real explanation as to why these dim-witted aliens are here on
Earth, or why they leave humans they've captured unguarded on their
spaceship. There were other questions I had with the movie, like: Why
does the island that these people come to have no boats handy for
emergency purposes or other reasons? Why does a bloody windshield make
the protagonists feel they can no longer drive their vehicle to escape?
How can someone deal with a machete stab to the gut with what is more
or less a shrug? I found myself focusing on these questions, because I
found most the movie surprisingly boring. It takes forever for the
action to get going, and despite the eventual blood and entrails that
spill forth, it's all directed so badly that I felt no enthusiasm, no
sense of West cackling behind the camera with glee. West may know the
words, but he shows no sign that he learned Jackson's music as well.
Check for availability on Amazon (DVD - R rated version)
Check for availability on Amazon (DVD - unrated version)
See also: The High Crusade,
Night Of The Creeps, Revenge Of The Teenage Vixens From Outer Space
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